Grabbin Your Way Into a Girl’s Heart – Lessons Learned From “The Van”.

The Van (1977)

The tale of a creepy recent high school grad that buys a tricked out custom van for the sole purpose of increasing his sexual conquests with the lady’s in his shitty little town… Which looks to be somewhere near the California coast.

Lots of fun in a creeptacular “The 70s were pretty scary” kind of way. The “hero” is completely gross, and really grabby… Apparently it was acceptable foreplay in the late 1970s to hang out at a pizza parlor to trick young women into your van to share a joint, and then to try to fondle them in a manner close to sexual assault, without quite slipping into actual rape territory

There’s also a subplot involving the town bully who also has a custom van, and the protagonist trying to win over the girl he really likes.

This could almost have been a PG movie or a tv film if not for the surprisingly heavy dose of nudity throughout the film. In a funny scene, the sexually aggressive “Fat girl” turns the rapey tables on our hero, and it’s obvious that the concept of “fat” was very different a few decades back… She’s pretty hot, and few people would consider a woman built like her as being “fat” these days.

Danny Devito is also in this relic, and it’s probably one he leaves off of his resume these days.

I enjoyed it by the way… But the 70s were obviously a “different” (Really creepy) time.

You’ll also hear that awful “Chevy Van” song a bunch of times throughout the film.

The whole thing is on YouTube for anyone interested.Image

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