The Satanic Wizard of Rock

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I was an Evil Wizard with unlimited magical power. What would I do with those dark forces?

The answer is simple:

I would trap people that displeased my inside musical recordings for years at a time… Eternity in some cases. Now, this would not be a simple case of being stuck in their own normal existence with some omnipresent soundtrack playing in the background. I think almost anyone could adapt to that. No, this curse would alter their word on a fundamental level, shaping every aspect of their experiences.

So Mr. 70s Blues Rock lover… Cross THIS wizard, and prepare yourself for a lifetime of horror inside “Kissing to be Clever” by Culture Club… Ms. Pretentious goth Queen, I’m excited to announce that you’ll be spending a decade inside a Molly Hatchet album!

Like synth pop a lot? Welcome to your new home inside Slayer’s “Reign in Blood”!

Any enemies with unknown musical preferences would just get sent to live in “Workingman’s Dead” by The Grateful Dead. Yeah, a small percentage of them might love that, but most people would be praying for the sweet and merciful release of death after a year or so.

So watch out! This Wizard might get even more creative if pushed…